Never Judge A Book By Its Cover

Nostalgic

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 21:17:00 +0000

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I wrote a post on this blog. I had the urge to wait until November just so the dates would be exact but I will restrain myself. No one reads not that I had tons of readers even when I was active but I find I can't delete the blog. So I am going to have to think of some way to breathe life into it again. I am thinking HNTs but to be honest after awhile even those seemed to get old. How many angles can I post before I am just showing the same thing over and over or worse getting bolder and bolder in a desperate attempt to get attention?

TMI Tuesday #159

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 20:59:00 +0000

1. Have you ever had a moving violation? An auto accident? That was your fault? Nope, I had 2 accidents within a year of getting my license but neither were my fault. And then I went nearly 15 years without an accident until a couple of years ago and I had my 2nd one in January. Hopefully I will have another 15 year period without them.

2. Have you ever voted? How old were you the first time you voted? I vote in all elections, local and national. My first vote was in 1988 when I turned 18.

3. Are you glad this election cycle is over? Yes, I am so happy. I wonder what the media will talk about now actually.

4. Do you have guilty pleasure? What is it (or are they)? Too many to list. But the short list, True Blood and So You Think You Can Dance; ABBA and the Strobe (disco radio station); chef boyardee and grilled cheese for dinner...

5. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done recently? Hmm hand sex in the movie theater probably borders on tacky but it was also embarrassing.

Bonus: How much impact has the Wall Street and general economic wilt had on you? Well I lost more in my 401K than I received in the stimulus check for one thing. But other than my 401K, driving around less, shopping less, scrimping on food, and watching my electric bill...it hasn't affected me at all (insert sarcasm here).

TMI Tuesday #157

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 17:02:00 +0000

1. Have you ever felt guilty or ashamed after a sexual experience? When I was dating hubby I used to feel pressured all the time and whenever I would "give in" I would feel ashamed afterwards because I wasn't strong enough to stick to my guns.

2. Did you ever own a fake ID? nope

3. How often do you tell white lies? Is it with or without thinking? Not often, I am one of those "to be perfectly honest" kind of people.

4. On a scale of 1-10, how well do you receive constructive criticism? 6 maybe even 5. My need to be perfect at everything makes it very difficult to accept any kind of criticism.

5. Have you ever shaved your pubic hair? wow this is truly a TMI question lol. The short answer, yes.

Bonus: What percentage of women do you think are capable of handling being in a "friends with benefits" relationship? I think at least 50% of women could handle this type of relationship if men stick to their end of the bargain. ie, don't get all territorial or controlling. How about men? I think at first all men could handle it but I think for the larger percentage it would only be a matter of time before their competitive nature and insecurities would make such a relationship impossible.

TMI Tuesday #154

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 20:20:00 +0000

1. What do you feel is the difference between sexy and erotic? The outfit I wore for SE on the cruise...sexy. The sound the fabric made when he tore it off me...erotic.

2. Do you believe there is one right person (i.e. soul mate) for you out there in the world, or that there can be many different potential mates that you could live blissfully with? I think we are all too complex for one person to be our only soul mate for life. I think there are many different potential mates.

3. Do you need to hear "I love you" or similar words on a regular basis from your partner? It's weird as a kid I never heard the words and I make a point to say them to my sons on a regular basis because I did miss hearing it as a kid. But I don't have the same need in romantic relationships. For some reason I don't find the words as authentic romantically as they are when you say them to your child.

4. What feeling do you have the most difficulty expressing? I am not very good at expressing feelings, opinions yes. How I feel not so much. So it's hard to just pick one. I have difficulty expressing most emotions, well maybe anger, I don't seem to have a problem expressing that.

5. What is worse - physical, mental or cyber cheating? Ugh the cheating question there always seems to be one. I don't find cheating a terrible ill of morality. Deception and lies would hurt me more and it really wouldn't matter what vehicle was used to achieve it, physical, mental, or cyber.

Bonus (as in optional): The Kinsey scale attempts to describe a person's sexual history or episodes of their sexual activity at a given time. It uses a scale from 0, meaning exclusively heterosexual, to 6, meaning exclusively homosexual. Where are you - TODAY - on the scale? My gut instinct is to go with 3 because I am always in the middle. And intellectually that is true. I don't really think hetero or homo I feel much more pansexual about things. BUT when I try to envision sexual gratification without a guy it's just hard to imagine. So that's 100% hetero isn't it...But if the question was overall I would say 3 but since it's a sexual history/activity I have to go with 0.

HNT-55

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 21:31:00 +0000

Not the best quality photo ever. It's a photo SE took with my cell phone of the outfit I bought for the cruise. Tom it's not scratch and sniff but SE didn't seem to mind ;)

Happy HNT.

HNT-54

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 13:30:00 +0000

The rear view SE seems to love so much but between you and me I honestly don't get. My stomach and abs now those I am proud of that cottage cheese back there? Not so much...But hey he seems to like it so I am obliged to send him a thank you note with view he likes best right?

Happy HNT

Your result for How geeky are you?...

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 22:21:00 +0000

Cool Introvert

You scored 50% Geeky, 79% Cranial and 39% Introverted! Brilliant! This is so very exciting because you have managed to maintain your intelligence yet steer clear of the path to geekiness. You are the rarest of the rare, not many people score in this category. I don't know if you realize the delicate balance between smarts and geekiness, yet you have overcome!!

You most likely have a strong passion for reading or some other hobby you can cultivate on your own, and this can be a wonderful creative outlet. Make sure you take the time to develop strong interpersonal relationships as they may not come as easily to you, though they are vital for a fulfilling life. It takes much effort to maintain them at times, but their benefits far outweigh their draw backs.

Thanks 2am!

Take How geeky are you? at HelloQuizzy

Online Dating Persona Test

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 16:41:00 +0000

The Peach

Random Gentle Love Master (RGLM)

Playful, kind, and well-loved, you are The Peach.

For such a warm-hearted, generous person, you're surprisingly experienced in both love and sex. We credit your spontaneous side; you tend to live in the moment, and you don't get bogged down by inhibitions like most women your age. If you see something wonderful, you confidently embrace it.

You are a fun flirt and an instant sweetheart, but our guess is you're becoming more selective about long-term love. It's getting tougher for you to become permanently attached; and a guy who's in a different place emotionally might misunderstand your early enthusiasm. You can wreck someone simply by enjoying him.

Your ideal mate is adventurous and giving, like you. But not overly intense.

Your exact female opposite:

The Nymph

Deliberate Brutal Sex Dreamer

Always avoid: The False Messiah (DBLM)

Consider: The Loverboy (RGLM), The Playboy (RGSM), The Boy Next Door (RGLD)

Link: The Online Dating Persona Test | OkCupid - dating services | Dating
My profile name: : foxxybrown70

HNT-53

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 03:38:00 +0000

SE bought this for me to wear when I am in Charleston. What do you think?

Happy HNT.

TMI Tuesday #151

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 03:06:00 +0000

1. Describe the perfect date for YOURSELF... what you would enjoy most. I had the perfect date with SE Labor Day weekend. We went out to a friends for a party and afterwards we sat up and watched this old Clint Eastwood movie we both liked as kids drank wine and ate cookies in bed. What could be better?

2. Do you lean more toward being submissive or dominant? I am submissive but I have been accused of being passive aggressive at times and I probably can be. I'll have to submit to your judgment on that ;)

3. What do you usually wear to bed? Depends. If it's just me pajama bottoms and a tank top.

4. Have you ever seen a counselor? Yes, when Corey was about 7 years old I was close to a nervous breakdown I think. But I never told anyone I went to see her. It was like the biggest failure to me that I couldn't handle things.

5. Lights on or off? Lights on, unless I was asleep at first then lights off.

Bonus (as in optional): Bonus: Have you or a partner ever faked an orgasm? I can't speak for a partner, I don't think I have had one fake it but you never know. I faked when I was really young just starting out but not much even then. I was never a fan of sex without enjoying it. I always had the mettle I needed to just say I wasn't in the mood if I wasn't.

7 Things

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 01:24:00 +0000

This was shamelessly stolen from Fusion

7 things I plan to do before I die

1. Travel to Kenya, Rome, and Madrid.
2. Have a close relationship with my mom.
3. Go back to school and get a degree.
4. Travel the U.S. (especially the west coast).
5. Finish remodeling my house.
6. manage a long term polymorous relationship (s)
7. Volunteer (some kind of Angelina Jolie mission where I save a small village in Africa or something)...

7 things I can do

1. Stay in the moment
2. make mac n cheese like my grandmother's
3. multi-task
4. I am good with house plants
5. Excellent memory almost photographic at times.
6. make people feel better feel loved and cared for
7. debate ;)

7 things I cannot do

1. Swim
2. Float
3. hold a grudge
4. play an instrument
5. dance
6. Speak another language
7. lower my pride

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex

1. strength
2. passion
3. sense of humor
4. Manners
5. Personality
6. Self confidence
7. nice smile

7 things I say most often

1. Fuck
2. so whatever
3. seriously?
4. No worries
5. it is what it is
6. wow
7. Really?

7 celebrity crushes

1. LL Cool J
2. Pierce Brosnan
3. Morris Chestnut
4. Madeline Stowe
5. Anderson Cooper
6. Rob Brown
7. Ashley Judd

7 people who need to do this

1. need?
2. seriously?
3. no worries
4. so whatever
5. fuck
6. it is what it is
7. wow

LOL..

TMI Tuesday #150

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 03:16:00 +0000

1. When was the last time someone hit on you? What went down? I am pretty oblivious to that sort of thing. Someone has to come right out and say "hey I am interested in you" for me to think they are being anything more than friendly or chatty. So I honestly can't remember the last time I was hit on. I probably walked away thinking what an interesting guy never considering he was trying to get my phone number or something.

2. If you were single and could be with any one person, who would it be (thinking singer/actor or someone famous here, but whatever)? I really hate this question and it seems to always turn up on these things. How can I fantasize about Denzel Washington or whomever? They are famous people playing a role. Do I say hey I would want to be with the character he played in Mighty Quinn? I guess if I am trying to deem someone partner worthy based on how they present themselves in public and their sex appeal I would have to go with Chuck D from Public Enemy. He is black and sometimes angry but always intelligent and well spoken. He is a black man who would never sell out for money or fame. He will never apologize for the anger in his voice or try to water down who he is to make others feel comfortable. But he still demands the respect of whomever he is speaking with because his intelligence can't be denied.

3. Have you ever done anything sexual in your office or your place of employment? No, I won't ever mix my paycheck with my personal life. Too messy.

4. Do you apologize when you make a mistake? How do you react when someone calls you out? I apologize no one can be right all of the time especially me. And I appreciate when I am called out. I always feel the person must really care about me and trust that I can handle criticism to tell me if I have stepped over the line.

5. Top or bottom? Yes :) and side...

Bonus (as in optional): How old were you when you first had a willing sexual experience? A willing sexual experience? Hmm...That is a tough question because when I was in my teen stage there was a lot of the no, no, yes, yes behavior. But then boys were pretty aggressive always bugging me trying to get into my pants. I guess I was 20 or 21 before the sexual experience was about me really wanting sex instead of about the guy.

The Perception Personality Image Test

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 03:13:00 +0000

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

NFPS - The Guru

Nature, Foreground, Big Picture, and Shape

You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on what's in front of you (the foreground) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to deal directly with whatever comes your way without dealing with speculating possibilities or outcomes you can't control. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable.

The Perception Personality Types:

Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

TMI Tuesday 149- When you wish upon a star edition

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:12:00 +0000

You find a fairy. With a wave of their wand they can change anything for you.

What is the one thing you would change about your body? Nothing I like my body as it is. Oh wait my feet I want an arch, I hate having flat feet.

What is the one personality trait you would change? Nothing I like my personality as it is. Oh wait I can be a bit of a know it all sometimes so I would like to change that.

What is the one thing about your job you would change? Nothing I hate my job the way it is :) But I would hate any job. If anything I would ask the fairy to make me independently wealthy so I wouldn't need a job.

What is the one thing about your home you would change? The 70s...anything left over that screams this house was built in 1972.

What is the one thing about your Significant Other you would change? I wish he lived closer. But there isn't anything I would change about him as a person.

Who is the one person you would poof out of your life and why? My ex...it would be so much easier for me to accept him not being there for the boys if he wasn't there period.

Who is the one person you would poof back in and why? A 2nd V...you can never have too many fairy god mothers in your life.

HNT-52

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 13:48:00 +0000

It has been a good long while since I posted a HNT. I figured it was way past time to remedy that. But the main reason I haven't posted one is I have run out of ideas for HNTs. So I figured I would go back to the basics. My outfit for work yesterday. Just your average skirt and top.

But there is usually a surprise underneath...Happy HNT.

TMI Tuesday #148

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:10:00 +0000

1. Are you truly politically correct? Be honest. Yes and no. My favorite phrase and this is not an exaggeration I probably say it at least 10 times a day is "to be perfectly honest" and then go off on how I really feel about the subject :) Do I say things out of turn? No. Do I speak when not spoken to? No. Do I floss at the dinner table? No? So I don't think I am politically incorrect but I can be damn opinionated without a doubt.

2. Will you ever streak in public during rush hour? No. But not because I am especially modest, just because I think streaking is a dumb thing to do.

3. Would you ever do something sexual in public (more than 20 people around)? Define "something sexual" :) If giving a hand job, basic under the skirt hand stuff, or clamp play, and or bondage under my clothes counts. Then yes I would and have.

4. Do you ever not have good table manners? No, I always have good table manners even when I am alone.

5. Do you ever fantasize about a public sexual act? Describe. I have a fantasy of participating in a bondage scene with this hot red headed rigger, top, and photographer I know. One were I am tied, suspended, and a little toy play is added...until I laugh, climax or both in a horrified gasp on stage. This is only a fantasy though I would never do it.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever gone through a true sexual fantasy? Describe. Describe a sexual fantasy of mine that came to life...wow I think I will pass on that one!

TMI Tuesday #147 - "Out" Magazine Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 21:21:00 +0000

1. What is your favorite song to have sex to? Do people really have back ground music when they have sex??? I find this question weird. But in fantasies...like if I am reading fan fiction or slash...maybe watching a television show where I am creating a new pairing (ashton and diddy are big for me right now) I have "bedtime story" by Madonna in my head typically.

2. What is your vision of hell? working and still living in poverty.

3. In the film made of your life, who will play you? Janet Jackson

4. What is the one thing you most urgently need to tell your mom? Life is too short to judge...leave that to the powers that be.

5. What will be carved onto your tombstone? I don't want a tombstone, I asked to be cremated.

And the bonus: What is your drag name (which would be, first name: the name of your first pet; last name: the name of the street you grew up on)? Candy Markland...how funny!

Excluded...

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Sat, 31 May 2008 14:55:00 +0000

Last night I decided to meet my SIL and nephews at Zuma's. She was meeting her sister and niece along with some co-workers who were bringing their children there after work. And I thought it would be a fun outing for Cam because he found out yesterday he will be on the honor roll again this quarter. He is graduating from elementary school next week and so his teacher wanted him to know he was graduating with honors :) So anyway he is all excited about middle school next year and summer break coming up and finishing with such high marks. So I figured Zuma's would be a fun way to celebrate. I called her right before I left work to see if she was still going and to get directions. And then I called V to check on Corey's mood. When she answered the phone I could barely recognize her voice because her allergies were acting up. She said Corey was in a pretty good mood...nice and calm. But once I heard her voice it didn't matter because I wouldn't leave him with her I am sure she needed and wanted a break. Besides she had Corey most of Memorial Day weekend and I always try to be sensitive to how much time she spends with him.

Now I must insert here that I sometimes forget the limitations Corey places on me. I will go through a period of relative peace, at least for me. Scheduling will work out with V for a period of time and I will get lulled into thinking I can just pick up and do things like the average person would. So I went to pick Corey up then Cam and we headed off to the fun center. When I called my SIL to let her know I was there and got her voicemail I instantly remembered how she can be. She doesn't tell me about plans and events to invite me. She mentions them to exclude me. She will send out an email on Thursday with this list of things she is going to do knowing I probably can't go. It's a 10 year long event so I am not sure why I was taken off guard. But despite the fact that my nephew and Cam are only 8 months apart, me and my SIL went to the same school and she lived down the street from my ex, and she is married to my brother :)...she has never actually invited me to an event. She will just tell me what is up and on some rare instances I will show up. So last night was one of those rare instances, V wasn't available so I had Corey in tow, and the moment Cam saw where we were heading his eyes gleamed with excitement. Certainly everyone already knows what happened next.

Corey had a good old fashioned full fledged melt down...the kind he hasn't had since he began taking medication. And once it got started there was no stopping it. But I didn't want to make Cam leave so I took Corey to the car until I could come up with a plan B. No such luck Corey kept running out of the car, beating the doors, running back inside and then back outside and then all through out the parking lot. So time to think of a plan B went out the window. I pretty much just dragged him to the car and left. Now I know I shouldn't have left Cam there. But the situation became pretty sticky really quickly, my SIL and brother were there, and I really didn't want to make Cam leave. So I rode off with Corey, I went around the corner to the mall and walked around...bought him a treat (yes I know I was rewarding poor behavior but desperate times call for desperate measures). By the time we blew about an hour at the mall Corey was calm. So I stopped to pick up dinner and then headed back to the fun center. I walked in and there was Cam in the game room having a blast. He was all sweaty with stories of how he wrecked the go cart and tried his luck at the batting cage. I asked him where his aunt and uncle were and he hunched and said he didn't know. "When they saw Corey acting up in the parking lot they just walked off and I just went and played on my own...but don't worry mom I had a great time" when he added don't worry mom I had a great time I fixed my face because I have to assume my anger was showing. But damn it sure is nice to have that whole village helping me raise my child (insert sarcasm here)...

I know I shouldn't be frustrated by the same old crap 16 years in but sadly this stuff still hurts no matter how many times it happens.

"Special" needs...

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Wed, 21 May 2008 21:59:00 +0000

A portion of a journal entry from a few weeks ago...

Corey discovered his penis a little over a year or so ago. I have left that whole situation alone. I know he masturbates, I do the laundry after all. And to be honest I am relieved he figured out how to relieve the raging hormones I know he must be experiencing at 16 without me having to intervene. I mean talk about ick, try the idea of teaching your 16 year old how to rub one off when he can't sleep! So he figured it out, phew for me. I have been able to keep it light not make a production out of the erections etc. and if we are in public and he has more than 5 minutes on his hands and I start to see the attention heading south I can just say in a very matter of fact voice "Corey get out of your pants, or leave your pants alone" and he moves right on along. Which is another phew as far as I am concerned. But on Thursday the principal called me...this is not his old school thank God so it wasn't a call to pick Corey up, or a call threatening to sue me. No the principal just wanted to make me aware that Corey cupped a girls vagina in school. Sigh...yep as she put it (he touched one of the female student's genitalia) and he seemed to know where he was going and what he was doing....Double sigh. Yes I know he is just a 16 year old boy and I knew this would become an issue sooner or later but like any other parent I was really hoping for later. Much later if you want to know the truth. So the principal told me what happened, she said the teacher ran over right away and told Corey to stop but didn't make too big of a deal over it. And just moved him to another task. Ok, but we all know this isn't going to go away. And if 15% of my angst is having to deal with this at all the other 85% is that my son really won't be able to experience something so fundamental. What I wouldn't give for him to be a normal 16 year old...with his first real girlfriend copping a feel on his girlfriend over the long weekend during a movie or something. But unfortunately that isn't the way this is going to be for him. And with every milestone, with every incident, and issue I am reminded that my son won't have the "normal" life we prize and at the same time take for granted so much.

So fast forward to this week when SE told me he just found out his son's girlfriend is pregnant.. He has a 16 year old son too. He just showed off the pictures from the prom last week. I honestly didn't know what to say...what words of advice to give. And I wonder how on earth I would handle the same situation. I swear at the end of the day it doesn't matter if your child is typical or special needs...parenting is just hard.

HNT-51

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:25:00 +0000

It has been awhile since I posted a HNT so I figured I would come back with a bang...

Happy HNT.

To post or not to post...

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Tue, 06 May 2008 18:33:00 +0000

I am surprisingly undecided about what to do with this blog. I am not inspired to kill it but lately I haven't found the time to write a post. I find it much easier to journal to just write what is going on in my day to day. But this blog had a different tone to it and of course I have other places where I journal...

So what has been going on in Cat's world? Well it appears the cure all that was amatadine and respirdal is starting to wear off with Corey. This makes me sad in a way I can't even articulate because it speaks to my biggest fear about starting medication in the 1st place. Which is where does it end? Will we be in a constant adding and adjusting medication phase for the rest of his days? It appears so and I won't lie as nice as the quiet was. And I must say considering what the year before was like this year has been relatively quiet. There is still a big part of me that wishes I had never started the meds. Friday was the 1st day this school year where someone called and asked me to pick Corey up. And he had a pretty nice fit...and it's been awhile so it took everyone including me and V off guard. When I went to pick him up from V's yesterday she admitted she gave him an extra half pill of respirdal because he was in rare form. And I know she was right to do it. But it makes me sad maybe it's just a reminder that he is autistic and nothing is going to change it. Maybe it's as simple as that but either way I am struggling with it.

I met someone yeah I probably should repeat that for those who don't read me elsewhere. I MET SOMEONE. And he is handsome and sweet and into me and quiet and calm and he makes me feel special and relaxed. When he came to visit me (because he lives in Charleston) he actually asked "so why me" Can you imagine? He wanted to know what he did to meet someone like me...and lately I have to admit I have been wondering the same thing...could it be that in the middle of my constant angst over being mom supreme that I could have met someone special? It is much too early to say for sure but right now it appears so. And I guess it's a good thing I had the accident because my old car never would have made the jaunts to Charleston I always seem to be making lately.

I have been in a bit of a dilemma with Presidential race. I have always liked Hilary despite what most others say but could I resist the opportunity to vote for Barrack? I guess we will find out today because the primaries are here and I have to make up my mind one way or another...

HNT-50

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 11:28:00 +0000

(nothing lasts forever) I figured I would go ahead and post the icing on my 70s camp cake. Yeah Roonie and I really went there with the wig, the make up, and the outfits...and to add insult to injury she even had a disco ball. What more does a girl need?

Happy HNT.

HNT-49

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 22:02:00 +0000

(bye bye baby)
Tom says he can't rate my bottom without a video. But I think this pic does a fairly good job of showing off my backside.

Happy HNT.

HNT-48

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 12:15:00 +0000

(you snooze and you lose)

What can I say about a photo with me in a gold sparkle dress with a big afro wig and gold make-up?

Umm Happy HNT.

Update-HNT

noreply@blogger.com (Cat) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 02:01:00 +0000

John since you asked so nicely about updates I figured I would post the pic I took for the last HNT. I have been so behind in posting. If almost a month without a post hasn't already given that away. But I figured I would start back up with a HNT since Valentine is also my birthday. But I ran out of time.

Better late than never?