It was pouring yesterday and cold...it probably didn't help that it was 75 degrees last weekend. It only makes 35 degrees seem even colder. Anyway for some reason Corey was chosen for secret Santa this year. And a very nice family showed up at my house with bags of food, clothing, and toys. I was very surprised to say the least and from the look on the dad's face he wasn't expecting my house and tree either. But I figured since this surprising thing happened and I honestly wasn't in need I would give it to people who I knew were in need.
Now my mom pissed me off going on and on about paying her for checking on Cam. But the truth is she really needs the money. And it's because I know she does that I haven't said forget it and put Cam back in after school. So I parceled out the food and I took some to her last night. When I got there she seemed so pleased. W (her husband) had gotten more of her things, most of them actually out of storage. And she was unpacking all her knick knacks, her art, her personal items and placing them on shelves. She even thanked me which she had not done in the almost 4 years since she moved. You see when mom sold her house it was because she didn't want to lose it. The buyer asked for a 10 day close. So I drive up to mom's house and when I say her home was filled to the brim with things...things as far as the eye can see, I am not exaggerating. My mom had things EVERYWHERE...And I did the unthinkable, I called hubby and asked for his help. I never call him...NEVER but I knew there was no way mom and I were going to get all her stuff moved without help. I paid for a moving truck, I bought packing supplies, I called my SIL and my brother, and I took a week off work. And we carefully wrapped and packed her things for her. Because I knew how important they were to her and what a blow having to sell her house was for her. Anyway so as she has been unpacking she has become aware of the care we took to protect her things. And even though almost all of her tables were glass and most of her knick knacks were breakable. Not one single thing was damaged.
So today I woke up and the sun was out...it was cold but at least it wasn't raining like yesterday. I kept the boys with me and went to my grandmother's to drop off the bulk of the food I received. When I arrived I noticed she didn't have much in the refrigerator and she didn't have anything in the cupboards. I asked her what had been going on and she explained that her rent has gone up and it will take most of her monthly social security money. Her cable is off (obviously) but the VCR I bought her was broken too. So after I took stock of what things I could bring to add to the food I told her I would go home and get the spare VCR I had in the garage and see what I could do about the television. As I was getting ready to leave she asked me if mom had moved all of her stuff out of storage. I said I think they had moved most of it and she asked about a chest of drawers she had. I told her I wasn't sure what happened to it but I would ask mom. Now I need to insert here that other than the twin bed my uncle left her with and the things I bring over when I visit her apartment is empty. I mean I brought curtains and pots, just stuff whenever I can. But she doesn't have a lot. And she keeps her clothes in a big plastic bin I bought to help mom move. As I am leaving mom calls me. And I tell her I am leaving grandma's and that I brought her the food and I am going to check on the VCR blah blah blah...and I ask her about the chest of drawers. Mom says " I don't think I have it, I think it was damaged and W threw it away...besides the more stuff you put in there the more stuff we will have to move out."
Now I must tell you nothing pisses me off more than mom's attitude about grandma and how she is going to die soon anyway and we will be left to get rid of her stuff. To me it's the height of hypocrisy on her part. Umm hello isn't she the one that my brother and I expended much energy on moving and storing her stuff? I had stuff, my brother had stuff, we spent over a week moving stuff, hell she still wants me to keep a lot of it in my garage because her new place can't even hold it all. She was in pure bliss yesterday unwrapping all her ceramic figurines...but grandma shouldn't even want a chest of drawers to put her clothes in? UGH. Mom and my sister in law have been in a ridiculous argument over her 60 inch big screen. My SIL thinks since they gave my mom a room for 3 1/2 years and mom had no problem keeping the tv with them that she should leave it with them. And of course mom took her tv...I mean it's stuff of course she is going to buy a house full, worry over it, fight over it, and ultimately try to keep all of it. But again my grandmother being able to watch old movies on a VCR I keep in the garage is a big deal...More stuff we will have to move when she is gone.
I try not to engage with mom because nothing good comes from it. So I just said well I don't think a chest of drawers, a twin bed, and a couch is going to be that big of a deal to move. So she asked me what was she keeping her clothes in now. So I told her "one of the big plastic bins, you know the ones I bought to help you move?" Silence...of course there is silence on the other end now. So she says she is in traffic and she will call me back later. I go home and sure enough I have a spare VCR in the garage and an antennae. So I get that and my artificial tree and the decorations I didn't use and pack it in the car. Then I went to the grocery store to get her a few extra things.
Grandma was so happy when I hooked up the antennae and she was able to at least watch regular television...I hooked up the VCR and put up the tree. Cam told her we came back to bring her Christmas cheer and she smiled at him. And she surprised me with bulbs...it turned out that she bought bulbs last year for a tree but never got around to buying a tree...I took care of her and then headed home and big surprise my phone is ringing with mom calling me back...
Mom: So you bought her a VCR?
Me: No I had a spare so I took that over there.
Mom: You know what I find amazing how mom can't remember things but she can remember she had a chest of drawers in my storage room.
Me: Yeah it is interesting what people remember...but mom I don't think she was being malicious...I think she knew you were moving and figured you were going to clear the storage room out anyway and wanted to ask about it before you got rid of it or something.
Mom: well it's damaged so she is just going to have to deal with the storage bin. She will probably not be able to get around her room with her walker with a big chest in there anyway.
Me: Mom I don't think it's a big deal that she wants to have a set of drawers for her clothes. I see them on sale for $99 bucks or less all the time. If she can't use her old one I will just buy her one.
Mom: Well I don't see why you keep filling that place up with stuff we are just going to have to move out anyway.
Me: Mom she is old she isn't dead...she doesn't remember things and she was an alcoholic. But now she is just an old lady who spends 95% of her time in this one bedroom apartment. I think it is natural to want to make the place you spend the most time in comfortable. When you are old I promise I will make sure you are comfortable...and I am going to do the same for grandma. I don't have a lot...but I can help to make her comfortable in her place. And I don't think it's that big of a deal.
Mom: well instead of worrying about a set of drawers she needs to worry about getting her soul right. Because she is going to die and go to hell if she doesn't start worrying about that...
Me: Mom you could say that about all of us...you could say that to me every time I go to the mall. I could get into a car accident right now on my way home. And everything I bought this week is just more stuff you are going to have to move out! And according to you aren't I going to die and go to hell too? Me, my brother, all of us? That doesn't stop us from wanting to be comfortable while we are here on earth! That doesn't stop us from wanting more than a twin bed in a one bedroom apartment. I know that you have issues with grandma but they aren't MY issues.
Mom: so did she like the tree?
Me: yeah, she even had bulbs to add to the decorations I brought. So it all turned out really nice and she seemed to enjoy it.
Mom: figures...
UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Labels: family, rant, relationships
Hmm, I know I am late but hell that pretty much sums up 2007 so why not finish out the year in true late fashion? This year was the 1st for me to have a digital camera so I have to admit I have a special place for HNT-15 just because it was the 1st. But my favorite of the year would have to be...
