Men Are Scum!

I don't think I have ever thought much of men, even as a child. They have always appeared to be the worst kind of liars, unreliable, and not worth half the trouble they create. I am sure part of the reason for this is my dad and him never being there for my mom. A man 10 years older taking a high school senior and changing her life by having 2 children with her. A man who strung her along for 5 decades with promises of leaving his wife which never happened. But the other reason is my brother. My brother redefines waste of space. He personifies everything that is wrong with the male species. And typically after spending time with him or my SIL it takes me a day or two to get over the "men really suck" mood he puts me in.

Yesterday my SIL, me, and my mom were going to buy our dresses for my mom's wedding. She is getting married in November after Thanksgiving. Anyway we decided to meet for breakfast 1st and then go shopping so we were up fairly early. I think this surprised my brother and upset his plans, I think he was anticipating SIL would still be asleep and he could leave 2 hours before he was due at work without incident. Now my brother has always seen other women. This is something I have always known but of course never talk about. He is a waste of space but he is still my brother. Anyway before he asked SIL to marry him they had lived together for about a decade they also have 2 children. He had been caught cheating once before and when she caught him a 2nd time she decided to leave. And here is where my biggest issue with him comes into play. She left got her own apartment and moved on with her life. She hosted our book club meeting and me and all the girls were there having a great time. And I must insert here that she looked better than I had seen her in years. She was happy, her place looked great, and she had moved on. My brother stopped by to pick up my nephews for the day while we had the meeting. And I will never forget the look he had on his face when he saw her place and saw her having a good time looking good and moving on. The next thing I know he is on her doorstep everyday. Begging her to take him back and constantly asking her to marry him. So fast forward 2 years and he is still up to the same old stuff. He never stopped if you want to know the truth. He is not a monogamous person which I can understand. What I can't reconcile is why he didn't leave her alone and remain single since it's the single life he obviously wants to lead. Anyway when SIL asked why he was leaving 2 hours early for work he exploded an argument insued and now he claims he is leaving her. I don't think he is frankly I think he just wanted to pick a fight so he could get out of the house for his morning nookie with the latest 18 year old he is seeing. But meeting SIL for lunch and seeing how upset she was over my brother (UGH). Was very hard to take. I swear I could kill him sometimes.

HNT-41

Well I don't think I have done a HNT from the side before...

8 Random Facts...

I have been tagged by mcewen from Whitterer on Autism

The Rules:

I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.

Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.

People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their 8 things) and post these rules.

At the end of your blog, you need to choose people to get tagged and list their names. (I am going to break this rule because I am sure everyone who reads my blog has already done this more than once. But if you would like to accept the tag and you are reading this, consider yourself tagged :)

Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog. I have done this before but it's been awhile so I figured why not? Besides she did tag me and since I almost never comment on her blog and she always comments on mine I figure fair is fair.

8 Random Facts/Habits About Me:


1. I was prescribed to wear glasses when I was 6 years old. There was nothing I hated more than those glasses. I used to bury them in the snow until my mom finally stopped buying them. I didn't get another pair until I was 16 because I failed the eye test to get my learners permit. And I haven't worn a pair of glasses since.

2. I have never dyed my hair. I was always afraid to and then I saw "What's Love Got to Do With It" when Tina Turner dyed her hair and it all fell out. And that pretty much closed the door on any other color besides the dirt brown.

3. I have never been a fan of fake things like nails and hair. I always figured if I didn't have it already I didn't need it.

4. I don't want to be buried, I want to be cremated. I think the most gruesome thing on the planet is to fill a dead person full of fluid, make them up, and then put them on display.

5. I have man hands too mcewen ;) My first real job was as an assembler in a truck brake factory. Yep I used to make Bendix air brakes. So the big hands became scarred man hands.

6. I also have big feet too mcewen, hehehe. Size 10s and if I am lucky I can find 11s. The irony is I have a terrible fetish for shoes. But I know which shoes look good and which ones make my feet look like ocean liners.

7. I am a directions person, I can figure anything out by reading the diagram, I assemble everything myself, I do my own yard work, and if it weren't for my distaste for getting dirty I could probably change the oil. But I will change my own tire if forced.

8. I have always admired Hilary Clinton. I know most people are put off by her but I would ask anyone to read this. I know it shows me up as the biggest dork on the planet that I read the wiki and even worse that I was so impressed by it. But I did and I was...

I stole all of mcewen's answers and made them my own. It seemed like the easiest way to come up with 8 new things to post about me.

24 year old Cat...

if you snooze especially when it comes to pics of my face you do indeed lose...
Well Tom take a gander...it's me in an awful top and awful hair. But I happen to be 24 or fairly close to 24 in this pic. Yeah I was one of the style set that thought short hair in the front and long in the back was a good idea. Oh and that handsome bright face looking directly at the camera would be Corey. Back when his picture was being taken every day it seemed and he knew exactly what to do as you can see. When I went looking for a pic of me at 24 it was a little disconcerting to find my hairstyle is the only thing that changes oh and the boys. They are always the true sign of my age.

you didn't think I would leave it up forever did you?
And this pic? This is me at the fattest I have ever been in my life, and 3 days overdue. I think the summer of '96 was the hottest summer on record. And I kept my hair short then because I was fat, hot, and miserable every single day. I wasn't supposed to travel so I am not sure how I convinced my mom to go with me to Charleston. Oh and I was 26 in this pic. But after seeing these if you still want to peg me the 24 year old with the voice and body to match. And the boys? My younger brothers of course ;) I would be hard pressed to argue with you.

Very Late HNT

More than late, a HNF at this point. Anyway the pic is for John...thanks for your comment. I had to find a file available to me from work and one I could post while on my lunch break. A webcam pic, big surprise. Is it just me or am I more likely to cross the line with webcam pics? Anyway happy half nekkid Friday ;)

Ranting...

I have been quite the ranter lately I have found many reasons to get up on my soap box. Whether it be the autism Oprah thing, the Jena 6 thing, or the latest congressional hearings on the status of the Iraq war (UGH!) But for all of my ranting I think hubby gets the badge for causing the rant of the week. He has been absent since late May early June. When I woke up Monday morning I saw I had 9 missed calls from him. He does that...he can't just leave a voice mail no, no, no. He has to call 9 times because I couldn't possibly be asleep at 11:30 on Sunday night. Nope. I have to be deliberately ignoring his calls. Anyway I will admit here that I didn't want to talk to him, I didn't sue me. He is negative, he has lost all decorum with me, and he can't speak normally to me. He curses and yells and berates and now that he is out of the picture I am just fine with never speaking to him again (awful I know) but true. So I didn't call back the PC reason was because it was 6:30 am when I discovered the missed calls but the bottom line, I didn't want to talk to him. So I sent a text instead "hey I see I missed your call(s), what's up?" Within 2 minutes my phone was ringing. "WHY THE FUCK DO YOU SEND ME TEXT MESSAGES!!!!" Now keep in mind we have not spoken a word to each other in months. Not hi how are the boys, not hey what's been going on but immediately at 6:30 in the am no less we start with the yelling. He just feels entitled to talk to me like a dog. I didn't perform as expected and he is going to rail about it for the rest of his days I think. So me #1 not being in the mood (I didn't want to talk to him at all remember) and #2 being late...I have a very tight am schedule where at 6:38 if I haven't had my shower yet it is already clear I will be late for work at 8:45 (crazy but true). Broke into his tirade with..."hey it's been so long since I have been talked to like a dog, I was beginning to miss it, was this the purpose for your call or did you have another reason?"....silence. Me "hello"...Dumb ass, "Cam has a dentist's appointment today I need you to send a note to his teacher so they will release him early." me "ok, anything else?" CLICK. He is such an asshole, I must have been on crack when I married him.

Anyway I told Cam his dad was taking him to the dentist and what time and I sent the note. Cam was really excited about seeing his dad. He said several times that it has been "weeks" since he saw him. When I went to pick Cam up Monday afternoon I asked how the appointment went and if he told his dad he missed him. He said yes and he asked him where he has been all these weeks. Hubby told him he has been "busy". No other explanation, just busy. So I told him I thought his dad had taken on a 2nd job and that was probably what he meant about being busy. Cam says "a 2nd job? that is the dumbest thing I ever heard! why would he take a 2nd job instead of spending his extra time with me!" I told him he should respect his dad at all times and it wasn't up to him to decide what his dad needed to do. But I couldn't help but think to myself. Out of the mouths of babes...

For all the blogs I loved before...

It has been a little less than a year since I wrote this post. Since I wrote it I have dealt with a few over zealous...should I call them fans? But that hasn't soured me on blogging. I had a scare on my wordpress blog for awhile with MNG reading my posts. And I have been busy enough to find it difficult to keep up with more than one blog from time to time. Lately I find the lack of comments on my HNTs a bit disconcerting. Not that I need the attention really but if no one is looking why post them? I could stick with the writing for my own creative release and leave the HNTs alone. But the idea of not blogging altogether hasn't crossed my mind. I don't even think hubby or my mom discovering the blog would deter me at this late date. I think I would start a new blog or friends lock this one 1st. I would miss the outlet and the people I have met through blogging. And I guess it has become a habit sharing my life, little bits and pieces of it. I think creating a 2nd blog helped me. Most of my life is compartmentalized so I guess it fits that my blogging would be also. I don't plan on killing my blog anytime soon but I must admit the recent departures have taken some of the fun out of it for me.

So...Low Blood Pressure, Finished Last, Melanie, Cycle Guy, and of course The Artful Dodger...could you stop by every once in awhile? Just to let me know you are still reading :)

Crisp and Clean...

I love this time of year, the weather is absolutely perfect. High 50s at night and high 70s during the day. Who could ask for better? I had the windows up today trying to get my bearings after a very interesting play date last night. Corey decided to wake up at 3am for the 1st time in weeks. He wasn't aggressive or anything like that, just awake. So I found I couldn't go back to sleep until he did. Now I am sitting here enjoying the cool weather with a cup of coffee trying to pretend it's 9:00 am when it's really 12:30 and my book club members will be here at 3:00. What was I thinking when I volunteered to host this month's meeting? I had planned to make something fun to eat but now I am going to plan B. A pizza that I am going to call for while I am rushing to take Corey over V's house ;)

HNT-39

I decided to try something new and take a pic of the back of my head. (Yes I was bored so sue me) Believe it or not my hair is very neat and smoothed back in the front so it's weird that my hair is such a mess from the back. I found that a bit poetic...I am typically composed and put together on the surface but in the back (behind the scenes) I am usually a mess ;)

Happy HNT.

It's not always good to be right...

Well it appears all my apprehension with Corey's new developmental day provider was not irrational. They lied to me and V for a good portion of the week last week. Making us believe they had found their site for the school year when in fact the site would not be ready until today. So for the better part of a week they were taking Corey around to the library and to the director's office and anywhere else they could think of and then meeting V in the parking lot of the new site. I found out on Thursday and I was furious not only because they were putting Corey at risk but because they were lying unnecessarily. I am not a fan of liars. They complicate things, they can't be trusted so you have to go through the work of seeking out the whole truth all the time, and they just lack integrity in general. Liars do dumb things like pretend they have a site a week early instead of telling the parents the truth. And I don't have any patience or tolerance for that. Luckily V was there to keep her hours 7-3:30 until I can secure the new facility. All my instincts were jangling with them so I went ahead and did the research on the after school program at Corey's new school. And I found it to be exactly what I am looking for. They primarily serve autistic children but they do have other disabilities the same as his school and I didn't have any of the unease I felt when I met the director from the other facility,

Corey is doing very well at his new school. I went to the 1st PTA and instantly became aware of how different and positive this year is going to be. Imagine a parents meeting at school where all the students have a disability? Corey can participate in the sports, the clubs, the prom, and all the other activities. And now he is going to be in their after school as well. It's weird in a way. I have resisted this for 12 years. I have pushed and pushed for inclusion and got it. But now I feel that inclusion is not the road to the best education for Corey. For years I thought moving to the Special Needs school would be taking a step backwards. But now I realize in finally fully accepting Corey's disability and moving him to this school I am taking a step forward and I feel very positive about my choice.

Speaking of taking a step forward I decided to take Cam to see his grandmother over the weekend. His birthday was on Thursday and she sent him a card. She always makes sure to send the boys cards on their birthdays and holidays. And I felt bad that because hubby had decided not to speak to us she misses out on them too. Of course I had to endure her speech about not having enough faith in God.

What? Yes my mother in law believes if I just had faith God would heal Corey of autism and he would wake up one day and be "normal". I have heard this enough that I take it with a grain of salt but when she began making excuses for hubby it was time for me to leave. Cam asked her if she had seen his dad because he had not seen him in months and he wanted her to ask him to call. When she heard this she tells me that hubby is only staying away from the boys because he loves me and wants to get back together.

What? Yes hubby came by his delusional behavior honestly :) I told her that is never going to happen but I was willing to bring the boys by from time to time so she could still have a relationship with them. And after that I was on my way (definitely my good deed for the month).

Why do I sound like that?

Cam asked me to make a vid of him to mark his 11th birthday. Of course when he saw this he immediately asked what was wrong with his voice. I don't think he had ever heard himself on a video before and he didn't like it. He has been trying to add baritone to his voice ever since :) I did this on my camera and it isn't the highest quality vid I have ever seen. But you will get the gist of things...And yes the person with the awful southern drawl mixed with a little NJ accent just to make it sound even worse is yours truly.

HNT-38

It was very difficult to think of where to go next after the underwear shot :) But I figured I would go with the theme this week which seems to be...She can catch the school bus in one single bound; not a bird, not a plane, it's super cat! Yes this school year has been kicking my arse in the planning and logistics category. BUT I think once I have Corey and Cam's after school settled this year may be the best year I have ever had. So I just have to stick with it a little while longer. And try not to piss off my employer in the process.

BTW today is Cam's 11th birthday and he asked me to take a vid of him marking the occasion. I will post it when I get a free moment I have to admit it's kind of cute. If you can stand my southern drawl that is...

Anyway Happy HNT.

A bitter old hag...

Becoming a mean old hag or possibly already being one is a big fear of mine. The drama with hubby is everything I tried to avoid for a decade and it bothers me a great deal that we can't even be friends at this point. He checked out back in May early June and the boys have not heard from him since. Today the school called him by mistake checking on Corey's transportation and he left a message at work to let me know "you need to call the school and verify Corey's transportation" click. And if his tone could be anymore harsh than what he said believe me it was. Not hey dog cat...hey mother of my kids not hey how are my sons who live less than 15 minutes away. Just "you need to call the school" sigh. It's so frustrating that we can't be friends. But maybe that is what I want because I am happy we aren't together. Maybe it's unfair for me to expect him to just get on with it. But I really wish he would for my comfort yes but mostly so the boys can have their dad even if it's only in the smallest way.

Happy Laborless Day :)

Well I accomplished everything I wanted to this weekend and now I plan on lying here watching Entourage and then vegging out on tennis all day tomorrow. My mom kept calling about a cookout. I had a gathering today to meet her new fiance and I think I have fulfilled my obligation for the weekend. I am not in the mood to cook for and clean up after a bunch of guests. I can't figure out whose bright idea it was for every single holiday to be wrapped up in women being forced to do MORE cooking and cleaning than they do during the week but I say no to such traditions. I am going to lie around and watch tennis. I am going to sleep late and hopefully the boys will too. And if I get cabin fever I am going to walk around the mall for awhile and then come back and watch more tennis. I hope everyone else enjoys the day off...I hope everyone else has the day off.